Cancer has had a positive effect on my life. It has made me look at myself and my interactions with people in a whole new way. I really like the woman I'm seeing.

October 9, 1999 - Lennie and me - just before we left for the Shakespeare dinner in Buffalo.

I love to work; I am proud of the work that I do. I have always thought that people liked me because of how I did my job, but that if I should drop dead, no one would truly care; the echoes from the nearly empty church would be deafening. I had a terrible self-image and what I discovered was that while I was willing to give of myself, I was unable to accept anything from anyone else. I guess I felt I didn't deserve it. Cancer has shown me that I have a great capacity to love and that people genuinely care about me. I can accept their love; it's OK; I am entitled to it.

While I wouldn't have chosen the cancer path, I am not sad or angry that it came into my life. I am a survivor! My life is richer because if it. Best of all, I have an easier time living with myself because I have lived with cancer.

The End....or is it the beginning?
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